Just that little something to pass the time, and ease away the feel of boredom.

13th May 2014


Conan, the Barbarian.

“…Conan, she is not breathing! Conan?!“

…Ahh, you are still here? Then you are fortunate, I have a story to tell you, friend. One you may, or may not believe, but true enough it is. In my story, you will know about a savage man, barbaric in ways foreign to us. It is no lie, that I tell you, I would not be here now, telling you this, if we had not found this man upon that stretch of arid wasteland. I will tell you all, how I once met Conan, the Cimmerian.

It was my daughter, Sanji. She found him, half dead from lack of water! Just this grand earth-pile, half buried under the sands. Surely, he would have perished had she not convinced us to spare him. You see, we are not but humble traders, traveling from city to city. We trade spices from Shem, beautiful cloths and magnificent rugs made in Khitai, pottery and wine from Aquilonia. It was along the stretch of Khoraja to the shores of Turan, from there we take a boat to Hyrkania. It had been like any other day in our caravan, till I heard my daughter shout..

“Pa’! Pa’! Come quick!“ the small voice carried over the small dunes and dry winds. She had not strayed far, warned against such a thing, Sanji typically listened. Quaarn turned his head and squinting eyes into the wind, more for the sun, than the winds. Traveling the deserts as they have, your eyes become accustomed to the stray grain of stinging sand that pelts your vision. He could only see her from shoulder height and up.

“Sanji, if you found another snake, I will sit you on the donkey and there–“ This sounded all too familiar, how Quaarn began to lecture, walking the sands and driving the long, worn walking stick he used to aid his footing; but Sanji’s voice…was in a mixture of excitement and amazement.

“Pa’! Huuurrryyy! ….I found a man!“ That same sweet tone she always had, just like her mothers, but softer, vibrant with youth; it trailed with urgency as she dragged out the word ‘hurry’. Turning towards me, she waved her hand, frantically and beaming with a wide smile like she had discovered all the riches in the world in just one spot!

Not, always the words you wish to hear in the middle of the desert; nor being shouted from your still, unblossomed daughter.. “Sanji! What in Heavens–?! A man–?! Get away! Quickly! Come to me!“ I stumbled, raced over the sands to reach my daughter, panic gripping my chest and my heart pounding like the galloping hooves of war horses! A man!? The thought raced in my head, How!? But danger underlined all possibilities of this Man.. yet Sanji was unshaken, turning her head to glance over a small shoulder towards me, pulling down at the scarf that covered her cinnamon-rich colored face; loved by the sun, and blessed by the Gods to have similar features as her elegant mother; she rolled her eyes at me!

“Oh Pa’…he is not awake! See?“ She chirped, with this tiny-tiny smile and wink in her eyes. I jest you not, when I say that my dearest, star of my eyes, was prodding with her walking stick at this giant arm of a man! Half buried under the sands! Copper skinned and rippling with muscles! Hastily I pulled my daughter protectively to my chest as if the very robes I wore would shield her and spare her the vision of this man..

“He is dead, Sanji, come..“ I tried to usher her away, but she would have none of it. Brushing my hand from her shoulder she expelled this sound that I can only describe as frustration pinched into a whistle within her throat to only pass her lips with a groan and though unseen! I am quite sure she rolled those ever-light, brown and golden soul-stealing eyes; like vibrant Lion’s Eyes.. she did not turn to me, but walked back towards the man! I reached for her, but it was like she knew I was to do this, because without looking back at me, she rolled her shoulder and dodged my grab!

“No, he is not Pa’. I know it. He called to her..he called Sonja’s name.“ This, this made me blink.

“It is not the same one, come, we must leave, the caravan is waiting, we cannot linger, Sanji.“ I stepped forward to grasp her hand, but Sanji was already kneeling and taking large handfuls of sand and scooping them away from this large man that surely should be dead!

“It is father. I feel it. He means her, Red Sonja.“ Sanji confessed, she sounded convinced, and it was in her tone. Another scoop of sand was taken away, revealing more of the man I was sure to be a corpse..

“…sanji, you cannot be sure.“ I began..my heart, beginning to ache, and my mind feeling a stinging pain of rememberance..but for another matter..

“Father!“ Sanji spoke, almost as if insulted by my words; her small head spun and she looked up at me. She, was insulted. It was written upon her face as she looked at me. “..how can you speak in such a away? Even if not, you say we are people of the people, we help where we can. Does he not deserve our help?“ Her eyes watered at the corners, I could tell, because they took on a glossy shine; tears, no tears. This, was not a game of a child wanting and being told No. This, was meaningful to Sanji.. what else was I to do? So I knelt down, and began to aid my daughter; removing sand, exposing this titan of bronze skin.

I will tell you now, I have moved camels that were lighter than this man! It took six of us to hoist him up and flop him onto the back of a wagon! Even after falling face first into the back of our wooden wagon, you’d think that would awake the large man, or, at least I was hopeful, in a way. Believe me when I tell you, I was not without my worries of concerns for who this man was! Just in size alone and strength, how many of us would it take to hold him down? So, came the next task. Tying him down.

“..but Pa’, this is wrong!“ Sanji began her protest, observing and complaining, the most she could do at the time.. “Sanji, I will have no more of it.“ I took a firmer tone, the time of reasoning was over, now, it was time to make sure our caravan was safe with this large stranger amongst us. “We do not know who he is, or what he has done. Jekko says he is a Pirate Lord. If this is so, then he cannot be trusted; he will simply remain till he can walk on his own two feet, then be off, or remain till we reach a town and he can go about his own way..“ I tried to explain, the best I could as I struggled with tying the limbs of this great man.

“..Jekko also says there are men with big head and eyes that fly in plate-like ships in the sky..“ Sanji grumbled, watching with a half pout and a scheming glint in those golden-brown eyes of hers.

“Sanji! Mind your tongue!“ I urged her on her sudden outburst!

“..Oh Pa’, you know its true! …besides, he does not look like a Pirate..“ Her small voice trailed, as she watched me tie up the man she had found in the desert.

“So you are now an expert in Pirates?“ I scoffed, and gave her a look while making a tight knot!

“No.“ She confessed, looking slightly wounded by my question, but then she smiled with a proud up-lift of her brows and nose! “But where is his wooden leg, and parrot if he is a Pirate Lord? Where is his eye-patch? He, is a warrior father, like Sonja.“ My daughters eyes, burned with fantastic mirth, as she pointed at the man now tied on the back of one of our wagons. I was at a loss for words, I could only look upon my only child, and smile and marvel at the wonders of her mind and how it worked. I cannot deny, that I, too, sometimes long for a mind such as hers. Where troubles can just…vanish! Poof! Like a cloud of smoke is lost to the up-draft of a wind! How the dust is kicked up and left behind in the wake of your horse. The mind of a child, is sadly, one we all, come to lose along the way as age begins to claim our mind and bones. Forgotten, to the illusion and splendor; where the shapes of clouds allow us to imagine shapes and forms..

No..as we grow, so do our troubles, so do our fears, so do our worries. I simply listened to her, smiling like an old fool as my heart swelled with silent pride for my daughter, and hoped, where ever my beautiful wife was, she could hear the wise words of our daughter..

“He..“ Sanji whispered to me. “..bears the scars of battle father, just like Red Sonja. He is of the sword, and he is good.“ She spoke as if she knew this man, knew, that this man was good.

“How do you know this, Sanji?“ I asked.. my voice low, curious, and pulled into this fantasy-reality my daughter spoke of.

“..because of Ma’. You have said to me, many nights, her last words, was her softly saying your name, Pa’..and mine..“ She paused, not because she was choosing her words, but because she saw my eyes, and saw the tears about to run down my dust-washed cheeks.. “..in those moments, Pa’, I believe your heart calls to the ones you love the most.. Just like Ma’ did..“ She was speaking respectfully now, as if fearful that her words were to get her in trouble; but I only smiled, smiled lovingly to my child and heard my own voice broken and crack as I went to speak..

“..then let us hope, you are right, Sanji, for all our sakes.“ and my daughter smiled back, to ease my heart from the sudden wash of memories. The melancholy did not leave me that day, nor throughout the night.. and still, the stranger with us, slept deep. Somewhere lost, from our ability to rouse him… his voyage was one the Gods would decide now.

I do believe, I should tell you, where this, infatuation for the She-Devil with a Sword comes from. The Legend of Red Sonja, is an ever constant in her youthful head…day in, and day out, Sanji, speaks of this woman; you see– Sonja saved my wife when Sanji was but still a babe. No man that witnessed the occurrence even attempted to risk their own life in defending …some woman. But Sonja did, she did not have to. She crossed blades with these men, and spared my wife from being…lost to us that night. I am, eternally grateful, towards this woman I have never met; I have, retold the story, time and time again at request from Sanji, you see, it is her favorite amongst the many I have told her when it is night and the candles must be blown out. Over, and over she wants to hear of Sonja; any news she hears of Sonja when we are at a town or city, she intently listens. Listens better than my own words when I tell her not to wander too far from the caravan! She has a wild spirit, similar to that of her mothers; but Sanji’s is far more curious, and that, that scares me..

It was two nights from the day we had found him that the man awoke, coughing in a fit, and groaning, holding his side and half growling like some rabid hound. Flailing his large limbs from side to side; I of course, instinctively kept Sanji at bay, who wished nothing more than to climb the back of the wagon and reach this crazed man! “Where– water? Do you have water?“ He asked, with a rough voice, like if the very coarse sand we walked upon coated the inside of his throat. I handed him a drinking bladder, and remained silent. Studying the man, you see, allowing him to ….in a way, incriminate himself before I began to question him..

“I found you! You were half under the sands when I found you!“ Sanji piped up from around me! I, I sighed and gave a stern look down at her to keep her silent. The others who travel with us in our caravan had taken notice and heard that our strange, brutish guest was awake; for there was no mistaking this man’s voice.. it carried, like the distant rumble of thunder of an approaching storm, with the commanding presence of how it is difficult to ignore when a large, menacing sword is suddenly drawn and brought to your throat.

He turned his stare to my daughter, as he finished wolfing down water, using the large backside of his hand to wipe his lips and chin. Protectively, I stepped in front of Sanji to break the contact of this man upon my daughter. “I am Quaarn, this is my caravan..“ I began to introduce myself as others came to witness and observe, I used my hands as I spoke to the stranger for them to keep their distance; but the only one who did not give me the attention I was wanting was the man in the back of the wagon! He was busy looking over the ropes we had used to tie him down! “I see you have noticed the ropes, those were used out of mere protection to ourselves..“ I politely began to explain, and this…beastly man, flexed his muscles and rolled from shoulders down his spine and to his hips in a manner which I could simply not duplicate even if you brought fire to my feet! …and snap! Snap! Snap! Went the rope and knots we tied upon him!

“The ropes, will not be necessary..“ He said so calmly! An up rise of startled gasps and screams sprung from my people! Even I, too, gasped at the spectacle before me! ..and Sanji, oh my darling Sanji, how you drive your father mad sometimes! She simple uttered: “Do that again!“ I lowered a hand to my side and lightly covered the mouth of my daughter, who muffled a groan of protest against my hand. Our, companion, did not take notice of my daughters request, to which I am delighted, but instead, attempted to rise and stand. I knew this to be bad, so I quickly spoke against such actions. “Please! Sit, you are not ready to–“ That was all the words that left me, he was fast moving, for a man his size I will admit; and upon these, pillar thick like legs he stood, wobbled and his knees buckled from fatigue and with a large crack and groan of wood he fell back onto a pile of rugs with a defeated huff of annoyance.

“Perhaps, I will sit.“ He was looking at me with a clouded bright-blue set of eyes that gripped me with intimidation at the time, but I dare not show it in front of my people nor my daughter! I knew, he was not attempting to strike fear into me with his stare; because I felt the want radiate from him, the want to find his own footing and not be detained by the lack of strength his current body possessed, surely, an uncommon feeling to a man such as this, this warrior that Sanji had claimed him to be. I will say, then, I was starting to see what Sanji saw for myself.

“Who are you, stranger?“ I asked, my tone, calm and polite as it had been; my hand, still cupped over my daughters mouth, I felt her try and pipe up again but I kept her mouth silent, for the moment. “you have been in our company for two nights, you were discovered laying in the sands, half covered; we washed the sands from you and kept the cold from claiming you during the night–“ I had been speaking, and he, our nameless companion was now listening and giving me his full attention when my loving daughter, and constant pain in my head jerked her face away from my covering hand to her mouth and spoke in a tone louder than mine, as to make her own question sound more important..“You know Red Sonja, do you not? You said her name! You must know her if you called for her while half dead!“ Oi, Sanji.. again, I covered her mouth but she fought it off by taking my own hand in hers and holding it; instantly I began to apologize for her sudden and impolite outburst, but our unknown guest was already looking to my eagerly curious daughter. A curious stare upon his stern, strong features, but they were not cruel or menacing, but more…in shocked to hear what my daughter had just very loudly announced.

“I know Sonja..“ The man confessed, but said no more of it. Now, it was our turn to incriminate ourselves it seems, for that is the feeling I got from this man and the short answer he gave; my daughter on the other hand, did not get this feeling at all; for she sprang to life and began to do, some form of ridiculous dance of some sort while pointing at me with pride welling upon her face and happiness in her eyes. Yet, her celebration of this news was short lived– you see, while I knew why she was acting this way; the fact that now she had someone here, in her presence that she could, pester and interrogate for clues and questions to sate her ever curiosity of this Red Sonja, the man before us, spoke again.

“I am Conan, of Cimmeria. I thank you for your care..“ Our guest, now with a name; Conan, gave us a short introduction of who he was, and answered my questions of how he came to be, lost amongst the sands and dunes. That night, the skies were clear of clouds, but the wind was fierce. Howling and cutting like a cold blade. We made camp, shared names, drink and food. This Conan, of Cimmeria, can drink, I tell you this. I have seen my share of men, and companions in my travels try and compete with the spirits and the wine; but this hulking man of Cimmeria, drank wine like a fish drinks and swims through water! His laughter, got so loud, we did not know if we would ever get some sleep! Not with him within miles of us! But, just like you blow out a candle! Conan, poof! Took one final drink and toppled over onto a pile of empty jugs where most of the wine he had drank had once been and instantly began snoring!

Well, there you have all of us, the next day of our journey, walking the scorching desert and feeling the blistering bite of the sun over our heads when all of a sudden…“Have you ever killed a man, Conan of Cimmeria?“ Sanji asked, trailing in Conan’s shadow as he walked behind the wagon that had once carried him. Trying to step where he stepped, marveling in the size of his boot-print and how her own small foot fit within it; later on I discovered Sanji had counted how many of her feet fit within one boot print of Conan’s..Oi Sanji..

“Sanji!“ I called out, shocked by the type of question she asked! “Please, do not take offence, she is far too curious for her age, and often forgets her tongue when speaking!“ I quickly shuffled to my daughters side, hurriedly stabbing my walking stick into the sands to make my way to her and draw her away from our newly acquainted companion!

“Aye, many.“ Conan had turned his head in the time it had taken me to reach Sanji’s side and was staring down at my daughter, who stared wide eyed, a mixture of fear or shock, maybe amazement or perhaps fantasy-driven thoughts that only exist within her mind! He then laughed! Conan laughed! This bark of a laughter that made several people jump and one woman yelp and a donkey spilled the smelly contents from its behind and trotted just a bit faster!

“Sanji, Conan simply jests. Come, walk with me, my feet are tired today, I could use your help to walk.“ I lied! Can you blame me? I wanted my daughter away from such talk!

“Conan is big and strong. He can help you walk, Pa’.“ This, this made me blink, and it caused Conan to stop laughing, and draw up a dark, thick brow that made my skin turn pale and my blood feel like a frozen mountain river! No. It was all too clear upon his features with that simple shift upon his Cimmerian face! It was now Sanji’s turn to laugh, and she mocked and copied Conan’s laugh, previously after mentioning he had killed many men! Oi, Sanji! I tell you, it was too early in the day and I was feeling my head start to hurt, and not from the sun above! But from my daughter next to me! How one child can bless and curse at the same time I cannot say how such things come to be!

It was now the third morning with the large Cimmerian in our company. I will admit, I am not all too familiar with these people of the North. Conan, had a savage heart about him, that at first I did feel alarmed, he was so unlike me and my people. But, the more I watched, and listened, I saw that we were not too different. In fact, Conan’s tongue was just as loose as Sanji’s! That morning, I was walking with Jekko at my side; who, like always, when you gave him a willing, or unwilling ear; he rambled on! The topic of choice on this hot morning, was Conan. Jekko was sure that Conan was a Pirate Lord! On, and on he went on about this. Giving me reasons, on top of reasons, idiotic accusations and paranoid what-nots’ to our Cimmerian companion.

Sanji, on the other hand, was being Sanji. The red scarf she often wore around her face to protect her from the stinging sand and dust while on our travels was wrapped on top of her head. She did this often enough that we all knew who she was pretending to be. Her Hero of Hyboria, defender of the people, the She-Devil with a Sword. Red Sonja. The scarf was a representation of the brilliant red hair Sonja was said to possess; like liquid fire and silk, her hair tumbles like a red cascade of vibrant flames! Or so I’ve been told. With a small wooden sword in hand, Sanji acted out battles in her head, as if she was Sonja herself and protected those in need. Pursued the unjust and brought villainous men to justice with the edge of her wooden sword!

The only difference this morning, from all the others when she played this little game; was that presently, she was standing over Conan as he slept; her wooden sword drawn and pointed down at the Cimmerian triumphantly! I sighed at the sight, or was it as Jekko continued on with his nonsense? Probably, both. “Conan of Cimmeria, do you yield to Red Sonja who has defeated you in combat?“ She asked! Her tone low, and filled with this beautiful childish mirth.

“No.“ Conan replied with a tone in his voice that suggested he had long been awake, and had just been laying there as Sanji played her games! The expression that Sanji got upon hearing his respond, was priceless! I even had to stifle and suppress the laugher that almost robbed me of my silence! For you see, her eyes went wide! Almost as if panic struck her! Or maybe embarrassment! It was simply too cute and adorable! Sanji’s stance faltered, but she regained her footing and her composure! She narrowed her eyes threateningly at the large Cimmerian and spoke with a firm tone. “Then rise, and fight me! For I am Red Sonja! She-Devil with a Sword! And I fear no Man!“ I will confess, my eyes grew wide with the sudden courage my dearest child seemed to possess while she wore that scarf around her head and gripped that silly wooden sword!

They were both on the back of the wooden wagon where Conan had been sleeping on a pile of rugs. An old, rickety and wobbly dreadful thing of a wagon I tell you! Swaying with the motion of the shifting sands as the caravan traveled along; her sword aimed down at the wide chest of the Cimmerian. Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared up at Sanji while she stared him down from above. “Sanji! Sanji! Enough of that! Leave Conan alone!“ I pardoned myself from Jekko who instantly tried to hide himself from Conan’s view upon noticing that he was awake. Sanji snapped her head around and looked at me, as if abruptly awoken from some day dream! Instantly she pouted at me and went to protest. “No, no. Do not start! The morning is hot, and I am quite sure no one enjoys waking up to the sight of a sword being pointed at their chest, wooden or not! Off with you, run along and play!“ I said all of this as I used my walking stick to catch up to the wagon where Sanji was now slumping her shoulders and giving the worlds most darling of saddened expression. But she turned, and looked at the Cimmarian who was rising to surely meet the challenge which she had thrown at his feet. “Till we meet again, Conan of Cimmeria! The Gods have favored you today!“ Sanji turned, slid her wooden sword between her sash-belt and light silk skirt and hopped off the back of the wagon and past me to go on with her adventures elsewhere.

“I apologize about Sanji, her imagination knows no limit.“ I reached the wagon as Conan was sliding off and onto his feet. For which I am sure the wagon and the two donkeys that pulled it were very much thankful for. “She is a child. Flowing free like the Four winds. I am in her dept for finding me, and you and your people for allowing me to remain.“ Conan looked at me, evenly, squarely in the eyes and spoke to me, man to man. Placed a large, strong hand on my shoulder that felt like a heavy stone had suddenly pressed down on my weary traveling bones. I knew then, within me, that Conan was speaking with truth, and with a code of Honor that you seldom find in most men now a days. Do not ask me how I knew it to be true, for I do not know. The only thing I do know, is that I saw it there in his eyes. Blue, so, so blue, and piercing like the snow covered mountains that towered in the frigid north, impaling the ever vast icy sky. It was how he spoke to me, which stole my very words, and all I did was simply nod to him in return.

The day went on as it mostly does on our ventures when we travel this bit of desert road. My concerns for the Cimmerian we had with us had greatly lessened, even others in the caravan were approaching him with their own questions or greetings. Jekko, had yet to fully trust him, and Conan let him be. Sanji was even taking lessons on how to properly hold her wooden sword and wield it correctly! To which, yes, I will admit, I was frowning on the outside.. but inside, inside I was smiling proudly at what seemed to be, my only child and daughter; had a natural…finesse with a bladed weapon. Overhearing Conan as he told her how to step and lunge, parry and block. The day had its moments of laughter. A savage heart, the Cimmerian had, but a good and strong heart.

And Sanji had known this all along..

It was not till we reached a small Oasis, this, halfway point if you will, where we often pause to eat. Enjoy the shade and the drinkable water that always tasted like the best water you have ever tasted. Out here, in this arid stretch of land, it was like a small gift of the Gods for us, to revitalize our spirits and aid us on our voyage. There, when we all went on about our normal activities; which included feeding and watering the animals. Relaxing in the shade and putting food and water in our bellies. Conan, our Cimmerian guest, stalked the knee high grass around the Oasis. Inspected the trees. Touched low branches. Doing so, with a somber look upon his face that made me curious. I slowly approached him, as he inspected the sands. “Will you not join us in the shade, Conan? We have enough food to share with everyone.“ I did not ask him what he was doing, and Conan did not look up at me as I spoke to him. Only remained crouched low, his eyes unblinking, focused. Like the stare of a Lion as it watches its prey pad around, never knowing of the large threat just lurking there within the grass ready to pounce. “A company of men have been here, not too long ago..“ Conan said, while tracing the lines of something left on the sands. I did not know it then, but he was reading the footprints left in the sand, in the wake of those that had been here previously. “..Aye.“ I said to him, nodding to our companion and lightly resting my hand on one of his broad shoulders, to possibly calm the large Cimmerian. A mild attempt to bring forth comfort to the shadow that seemed to be clouding his heart. “This Oasis is known by many, and this road is traveled by many traders. It is a very active road.“ Conan did not reply for a few seconds, and I removed my hand from his shoulder as I saw his eyes follow the prints in the sand as they appeared to venture away from the Oasis. “..and not just traders, travel roads.“ Conan added, with a tone that sounded curious to me then; but now I understand that there was warning and concern in his voice.
For us.

We had moved on from the Oasis. Now full with food and water. Content and longing for the days travel to be over and find sleep. But first we had to travel through the Serpents Spine. A rather narrow ravine with jagged walls that stretched ten or twelve men tall if they were to stand on each others shoulders. It was almost a clear stretch from one side to the other, and there in the distance we could see it as we approached it. Typically, when we crossed the Serpents Spine, we made camp and rested. I was walking next to Conan, learning about his people, Cimmerians, Barbarians as he so plainly put it. I spoke about my caravan to him, those in my company. I even shared with him the story of my wife, and Sanji’s mother, and why she has her obsession with Red Sonja. I only told him, because he asked. We had been walking, trading small conversation and better learning of each other when I heard the scream. We all heard the scream. It was Sanji.

My heart leapt instantly! A fear, my friend, that I cannot explain to you, for if you are not a parent and I pray you never have to hear such a frightened sound come from your child… then you simply will never understand how real and terrible that fear is. I spun, turned, and shouted her name! Sanji! Snaji! I called to where she was, but I could not see her! Just dunes and rolling hills of cursed sand! But Conan, Conan was on the move. Cutting over the sands like I have never seen another do. For a man, as large as him, Conan had a level of agility that was most uncommon and intimidating. I had no focus point to turn to, to find my Sanji! So after Conan I ran! Driving my walking stick with this stricken panic that matched my shaking breath! I lost sight of him! To which I then called out to Sanji! And to Conan! The caravan had came to a halt, and simply looked on in silence and scared whispers.

I saw him then! Cresting a sand dune, Sanji in arms, and in this run that felt more like his feet had sprouted wings and he flew across the sands! “Go! Run! Move the caravan!“ Conan shouted to me! To which instantly I was confused! Why was Sanji in his arms!? Why must we run!? Why must the caravan go!? It was not till I saw the black bolts of arrows fly over the very dune Conan was now running down and towards us that I realized what Sanji had now discovered… bandits. Or more commonly known in these parts, as The Sun Reavers. The caravan turned into a rabble of shouts and cries of fear. Conan was running to me as I ordered for the caravan to continue on; Quickly! Make for the ravine! I told them! I could see my Sanji more clearly now. Laying there in his arms, and the black bolt that was lodged into her chest. She was faintly whimpering when Conan gave her to me. To which I almost instantly lost the strength in my legs and broke down, and crumbled to the sands. Conan, seemed to have sensed this was to happen because he gripped me with those large hands to my upper arms and steadied me as tears just began to pour from my eyes as I looked down to my daughter. My Sanji! Oh Sanji! Why can you never listen and just stay by the caravan where I can see you!? Why must you always go venturing! “Is.. is she…“ I heard my trembling voice as I hobbled along with my daughter in arms. “No, she is not. But we cannot stay here, and we will not make it to the other side of the ravine…“ Conan was right, in my moment of complete shock and dread, too focused on Sanji, and the arrow lodged into her chest. That my ears had some how forgotten to work or pick up on the shouts and yelling that were now racing towards us..

“Quaarn.. do you or your people have weapons?“ Conan asked as he helped lay Sanji on the back of the wagon while it moved quickly. Even though, it felt… quick. I knew in my heart, it was not fast enough to outrun the men that were coming over that dune, and chasing up the path towards us as we began to enter the ravine. “..weapons? No! We do not have weapons! We are peaceful people!“ I shouted at Conan, to which, I tell you now, pains my heart to this day for doing so. I am shamed by it, though I am sure Conan felt no ill towards him, given the difficulties that we were currently facing.

And just then, from out of nowhere, Jekko stepped forward in a hurry. “C-conan?“ He said, struggling to find his voice. The poor man, who looks as brown as burnt wood typically, was now as pale as a virgin moon sitting bloated in the middle of the sky right then. Conan turned to face him, and the bundled object that Jekko was holding on his arms, in an offering sort of way. “will… t-this work? It is an old battle axe, I bought it last winter just for the look alone.. I..I do not know the quality.. it simply looked strong and with history behind it…can, can you use it?“ Jekko said timidly, rose the weapon higher, as if silently begging the Cimmerian to take it, to hold it. He looked like a lowly peasant, offering up a sacrificial lamb to a mighty bronze skin God..

In pure silence, the Cimmerian reached with a large hand and gripped the pommel of the thick battle axe and hoisted it with one single arm where it had looked like Jekko had struggled with both to simply hold it up for the Cimmerian to see! Conan gave a deep nod, and a wild grin crossed his stern features. “By Crom, I can use it.“ He chuckled and took it in both hands.. and right then, I knew not who was more frightening. The bandits that were following us, licking at our heals like some rabid hounds… or this Barbarian of Cimmeria standing and brandishing this Battle Axe that looked like it had been fatefully forged for him for this very moment!

“…Conan, she is not breathing! Conan!?“ I was, in tears, not much use to my child. I was afraid, afraid that this would be the last moments I had with her. Conan reached my side, Jekko with him. He sat the battle axe next to Sanji on the back of the wagon and proceeded to undo the red sash she typically wore to pretend she was Sonja, and wrapped it around her head. “Sanji. Sanji, I know you can hear me. I know Red Sonja, and she wants to meet you. Do you hear me? Show me how strong you are, Sanji.“ As he took her wooden sword from her belt, and slid it into her small hand. “Show Sonja how strong you are. Show your mother.“ ..and my daughters small hand gripped the hilt of her wooden sword, and she breathed in…weakly, but she breathed! And continued breathing!

“..you are no Pirate Lord..“ Jekko added, in a stunned whisper as he looked on in awe. To which Conan simply said.. “I will be again, when I return to my ship.“ Took up the battle axe and turned from us.. walked away from the wagon, and towards the entrance of the ravine! “Quaarn, take your people and go! No matter what you hear, do not turn around! Keep going! Get Sanji to a healer!“

I.. was lost to silence. I simply held my daughters hand, and saw Conan march right towards the horde of bandits. Leapt onto a rubble of rocks, and openly invited them to do battle with him by releasing a thunderous barbaric roar. Raised the grand battle axe with two hands over his head. Everything, seemed to crawl like a slow moving dream…the wagon, carried me away as I stared on, without the ability to blink and look away. His muscles bulged, all throughout his mighty form, and he charged the avalanche of bandits and their steel. I thought, then, I was to witness a stranger, who became a friend, take his last steps in life. But Conan stopped short of their spears and swords and with large heavy boots that planted firmly into the shifting sands like the feet of some battle-titan, he pivoted on his feet and swung that menacing axe in a powerful wide sweeping arc. Swiiiiisshhh!

A metallic blur of a half moon cut through the wood of spears, and even shattered the shaft of swords in the tremendous swing. The strength, and power behind his blow propelled him forward, onto the blunted poles that tried to stab into him as if there had been spearheads on them! Wood splintered and snapped! They tried to stick him with those stunted poles! Gouging him along his legs and his forearms! But he had a savage heart, and it was beating to the drums of a Barbarian in Battle. Conan moved on as if he felt none of it. The Battle Axe was over his head now, and coming down in another blur. This time, the blade feasted on meat and bone. Thlakkk! Shhhlaaakk! Carved clean through flesh like nothing I had ever seen before! Bandits, fell to his feet in twitching heaps! Blood spouting from necks, chests, and severed arms that flailed like horrific meaty stumps! The song of steel cried out, but only Conan’s axe sung. Every time it hissed and whispered through the air, it was like Death its self was sighing a lullaby that ended three, four men’s lives in one swing! I simply drew further, and further away… my vision bound to what I was witnessing. The terror behind the brutality that Conan the Cimmerian could unleash with just one old battle axe..

Conan was getting taller.. no, no he wasn’t. He was climbing! Stepping on the bodies, a, growing mountain of corpses and the dying! I know not if I was breathing as I watched on! Other bandits turned, and ran! Their battlelust turning to terror, then panic upon seeing this Barbarian hack through them with such savagery! He towered on the mountain of bodies; swinging his axe and making it sing! Swisshhh! Shasshhh! Shuahhhh! The remaining bandits surrounded him. Bathed in blood he was, but they mindlessly charged up the mountain of bodies with rage-driven hatred to dethrone the Barbarian who had slain so many in just mere blinks! Body parts, and red-spraying-limbs tumbled through the sky, and blood peppered the sands all around the massacre. Still they came at him.. knee-deep in carnage, slipping on the bloodied chests and heads of the dying and those dead that decorated his foundations. A battle-titan drenched in unstoppable red. The dying clung to his legs, bit at him, and tried to dig their nails or severed fingers into him but only managed to slip upon the blood that he was bathed in. With the last bit of strength that remained in their bodies, they tried to pull him down, and into the sea of corpses and gore. But this was Conan, the Barbarian.. of Cimmeria. Born to an Age Undreamed of. A desert wanderer that was saved by my daughter, Sanji. A Pirate Lord, and slayer of Bandits, there, upon that stretch of arid wasteland, was where I met Conan, and how he saved me, and my daughters life. And that is my story, my friend.

11th April 2014

Photoset reblogged from Lord knows I can't change with 57,594 notes



i made this shitty embroidery the other day when i was sitting outside in the rain having a panic attack. i don’t really know what i meant but i know it’s true. right now my life feels a bit like the wrong side of the embroidery and nothing quite makes sense.

I fucking love this

I don’t know who you are, but I want to just walk up to you and hug you, and tell you it’s going to be okay.

Source: chili-jesson

11th April 2014

Photo reblogged from Fit Sport Girl with 4,547 notes


Juice of 4 oranges, 7 bananas, spinach, frozen blueberries + raspberries

Mmmm. This please.


Juice of 4 oranges, 7 bananas, spinach, frozen blueberries + raspberries

Mmmm. This please.

Tagged: fitnessfitness foodssportshealthy eating

Source: greysquirrels

4th April 2014

Post with 4 notes

Ease off the Hater-rade.


Why is this even happening? Because you just don’t like her? Mad she looks better than you? Skinner? What is it?

Oh wait, let me guess. You’re going to say…she can’t act? Well you know what. She can. She just unfortunately gets cast as the super eye-candy. Directors know she’s good looking. Sexy and appealing so they roll her in to frontline and drag in the viewers.

I doubt half of you that just start bashing and spitting hateful words towards her have even bothered to watch any of her movies that didn’t involve blockbuster summer movies.

How can she prove herself when she gets brought on to promote sexuality? And you know what? SHE KNOWS THIS! Watch interviews Megan Fox has given! She openly admits that she gets brought on as eye candy for the males! Further more, she openly rolled Michael Bay under the bus for being a pig! She told reporters; WHILE BAY SAT THERE TOO— and said how a group of males (and Bay!) basically sat around and had her try on her entire wardrobe for their viewing enjoyment. To which Bay quickly tried to back peddle from! Go on. YouTube it. I dare you.

Look up interviews of this woman before you pass judgement that she is a bitch. Or a cunt. Or stuck up. She knows little haters like you dislike her for no apparent reason— just cause you ASSUME she is a bitch or a cunt because you put the notion in your head.

Megan Fox actually tries to keep a low profile. You don’t see her at clubs, making a scene. She is respectful towards herself and her body. She tried to stay out of doing sex scenes for a long time. She only has ONE small sex scene thus far in cinema, and that is with Mickey Rourke. A whole lot of like less than 4 minute scene IF that.

So where’s your beef? What is it you don’t like? You just hate her to hate her cause you got nothing else better to do? I mean, cause yeah. It’s easier to pass judgement now on people out of sheer boredom.

-End rant.

Tagged: megan foxrantwhyhatershatingactingactresshaters gonna hate

3rd February 2014

Post with 1 note

Flu season?

So I caught this strain. Evil little turd. Came on over night basically. Has me coughing so hard I’m dry heaving and a serious temperature. I keep having fits of extreme cold and extreme heat. My eyes are sensitive to the light and are constantly watering and tearing up. My throat is now hoarse.

This also coming from someone who rarely gets sick. My immunities are stuff of legends. I can go a whole year without getting sick. Yes, even two years. One finally snuck through my defenses. Oh well. Time to pwn this bug and rofl on away afterwards.

Oh. Forgot to mention those kick me in the nuts headaches that make me want to cry like a little girl. (I actually have a very low tolerance for headaches…they roll me like a pup)

Tagged: sickflucoughingheadaches

22nd December 2013

Photo reblogged from rin with 232 notes


lolol. inappropriately cute

LOLMFAO - Sexy and I Know it
Dance with Gangplank, Olaf and Tryndamere!!
You can enjoy it with this original LMFAO’s M/V. 

…does this mean that Rin plays League of Legends..?Please say yes. Pleasesayyes!


lolol. inappropriately cute


LOLMFAO - Sexy and I Know it

Dance with Gangplank, Olaf and Tryndamere!!

You can enjoy it with this original LMFAO’s M/V. 


…does this mean that Rin plays League of Legends..?

Please say yes. Pleasesayyes!

Tagged: lolleague of legendsRinsteampunk hottie

Source: tcbunny

12th December 2013

Photoset reblogged from onenakedsunday with 74,398 notes

Source: uncblaze

6th December 2013

Photo reblogged from Alternative Beauty with 13,904 notes


Hey Tumblr! Do you want to win a 1 year membership to suicidegirls.com? All you have to do is reblog this photo for a chance to win!
Winners will be chosen Friday, December 13th.
Must be 18 years old to win.



Hey Tumblr! Do you want to win a 1 year membership to suicidegirls.com? All you have to do is reblog this photo for a chance to win!

Winners will be chosen Friday, December 13th.

Must be 18 years old to win.


Source: suicidegirls

21st October 2013


You’re stupidly beautiful.

13th October 2013

Photo reblogged from bienvenue chez moi with 140,471 notes





If you don’t reblog this, I’m judging you.

there should be more notes than this…





If you don’t reblog this, I’m judging you.


there should be more notes than this…

Source: idontwannahurtno-more